Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
by THE PETE PETERSON EXPERIENCE
Summary: The galaxy's worst fears arise when the Phantom Menace returns...
1. Chapter 1

StAR Wars: The Phantom Menace:

A/N: I still haven't figured out what the Phantom Menace is.

Obi Wan had just killed Darth Maul. He ran to a dying Qui-Gon.

"NOO! Don't die!!! Please!!!" Obi wan cried.

"You..forgot something...Obi Wan." Qui Gon Said softly. Then his skin turned white. Then there were little pitch-black spots on his face and he turned purple. He grew 23 Extra arms, each with a lightsaber. He had a mohawk"I AM THE PHANTOM MEANACE OBI WAAAN!!" He drew out his lightsabers, which were red.

"I must kill you." Obi wan said as he fought Qui Gon. He tackled him into the power core. Obi Wan cut off 3 of The Phantom Menace's (Qui Gons) arms. The Phantom menace grabbed Obi wan.

"LEGGO My ARMGOSSS!" Obi Wan said as he Cut Qui Gon into 53100 Parts with his lightsaber. He grabbed on to a ladder and climbed out.

"I saved the universe." Obi Wan said." And I Killed the Phantom Menace."

"Oh really?" A voice said.

"Shit..." Obi-Wan Turned around to see that the Phantom Menace had returned.

"Why DIDN'T You Tell Me MASTER!!!" Obi-Wan said.

"Because I have been a Sith the whole time! Bitch!" The Phantom Menace (Qui-Gon) screamed."And I'm the PHANTOM MENACE!!! I CAN RE-ASSEMBLE MYSELF TOO!!BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"NO." Obi-Wan said.

"Woo-Woo-woo!!!" The Phantom Menace (Qui-Gon) screamed he ran towards Obi-Wan. then, Obi-Wan wasn't doomed as Nute Gunray burst through the wall with an army of battle droids.

"Not this time Phantom Menace!" Nute said in an Asian accent. The droids opened fire on The Phantom Menace (Qui-Gon). He was instanly killed. The droids also destroyed his pieces.

"You saved my life why?" Obi- Wan said to Nute Gunray.

"I am a member of the Jedi Council. This whole thing has been a test for your Jedi Knight stuff." Nute said.

"G'what?" Obi wan screamed.

"Darth MAul isn't really a Sith, he's just a Droid." nute said."Everyone in the council knew that Qui-Gon was The Phantom Menace we just could not kill him so we made you do it."

"Ok." Obi wan said as he understanded the statement."But your droids killed him..."

"Yes."

"Is that all?"

"We must stop the Ultimate Sith Droid on the Sith Zombie planet so that the galaxy can be at piece."

"Ok."

The End 


	2. Chapter 2

StAR Wars: The Phantom Menace Chapter 2

A/N: I still haven't fucking figured out what the phuck the Phantom Menace is still.

obi wan was on a jedi ship after the fight with darth mall. He got a transmission from his master noot gun-ray.

"What is your biddinness master?" Obi wan said to his new master Newt Gunray holograham.

"You must go to the place. We must stop the Ultimate Sith Droid on the Sith Zombie planet so that the galaxy can be at piece."

"Ok."

Obi wan walked over to his ship. He looked down a pit next to his ship. Darth Vader was in there.

"Hey everyone, look it's Darth Vader." Obi wan said to the other jed-eyes. "Let's spit on him".

"Ok'! everyone said as they went to the pit and spit on Darth vader until it filled up with salivea and he was drowning in it.

"hahahahaha" obi wan said. it was very funny. you had to be there. for this shit

Obi wan got in his ship and shit and blasted off.

"3,2,1...blaaaasttt offff weeeeee" obi wan said as he did flips and shit in space and blasted of. he giggled a lot when he did all this.

then obi whan got a funny idea, he'd blow up the jedi ship to stick it to darth fucking vader since he was the joke of the jedi counsil.

"hee hee hoo ha ho hee" obi wang said as he launched missiles at the ship.

BOOM! It blew up and all the jedi and darth vader inside were dead. hahaha

"that was funny ok back to the mission." obi wan said. he drove down the space until he saw a sign for the sith zombie planet. the planet was called PLANET ZERO GRAVITY SG 59 X and there were lots of siths and zombies there.

"i can believe qui gon betrayed me' obi wan said as he cried but he had to suck it up and be a fuckin man. so he got into the exit lane and pulled onto the Sith sombie planet. \

he got out. the planet was fulll of dirt.

"where are all teh zombie?" obi won said?

then a guy in a black armor came out of the dirt. it was darth vader.

"you gonna pay for spitting on me and blowing up the ship you motherfucking bitch" darth vader said in a Sith accent.

"fuck you DV" obi wan said. "you gay"

he shot darth vader with his blaster. he was deaad again.

"man i fucking lover blastors' obi wan says.

then 10000000 zombies came out of the dirt.

"OH NOOOOOOOOO!" obi wan said as he started to cry. he ran away from the zombies as they chased him. obi wan felt a warmness in his pants. yes he definitely pissed himself. and got an erection afterwards.

"AHHHHH" obi wan said. the erection made him run more arrow-die-namekly so he was a mile ahead of the zombers.

"HAHAHAHA YOU GUYS SUCK MY BALLS" obi wan said then he tripped on a hot wheels car on teh ground.

"" obi wan said as he did three flips through the air and landed on his back. he got up but then fell again on the same nascar and fell on his ass.

'thank fucking god i didn't land on my dick' obi wan said as he touched himself.

he got up and saw the zombiers were closer.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" obi wan said, he did twelve cartwheels then ran away.

he got away. yay

"im finally safe from those zombies" obi wan said.

then he got a text from newt gunray

obi wan read it.

"Nice job getting those jedi fags on that ship lol, that was funny" the text said.

obi wan texted back

"lol ikr" obi wan said.

his ringtone was a lil wayne song.

then it appeaered.

"HELLO OBIAN. NOW THE TIME IT IS FOR YOU TO DIE" it was the Ultimate Sith Droid. it was big like a spider and had ten legs and a laster gun for an eye.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" obi wan said. he threw up with fear.

chapter 3 comin soon


End file.
